Photo by Rebecca Pavlenko
Relationships with parents can sometimes be complicated, and that is probably the best descriptor that I have for my relationship with my mother. While most folks identify Paris as a song about the missed opportunity to be with a lover, this song was actually written about my mother.
As an adult, I had the chance to take a trip to Paris with both my mother and older sister. Travel can bring out stressors in relationships in general, and my fear at the time was that all those issues in our relationship would raise their unruly head.
Needless to say, I regret not taking the opportunity to share that experience and perhaps even heal some of our mutual wounds. The older I get, the more I appreciate her level headed wisdom and the fortitude it took to raise six children and work outside the home. She taught me to recognize what was truly important in this life. I wish I had learned those lessons earlier…
PARIS
I should have gone to Paris when I had the chance
I almost palmed the golden eff, but it slipped right through my hands
As near as I remember I just did not want to go
I wasn’t ready to surrender the life I’d come to know
I should have loved you better and I should have loved you kind
I was flying left of center – dear and dumb and blind
Caught between a circumstance and the fear of al unknown
Waiting for a second chance can turn a heart to stone
I am alone, I am alone with my regret
Thinking about what I haven’t learned yet
Ten thousand wild horses can’t chase all the pain away
And now in dreams all the daemon forces are pulling me in separate ways
I am afraid, and yet amazed
I should have gone to Paris when I had the chance
I should have left it all behind and followed you to France
Now I see you in the photograph standing by the Eiffel Tower
I see the smile upon your face, obscured by April showers
Paris is available as a single digital download and is also included on the CD Blue Companion.